Tenants

Our last tenants moved out of our duplex early May.  Then we had to have it cleaned and the paint touched up.  That took about a week.  And we've been advertising it on Craigslist ever since.  We've shown it several times.  Always the same response, "Oh, it's so cute!"  Or, "It has so much character."

Finally, last Friday I got a call from a man who wanted to see it right away.  After staying on the phone with him so that I could walk him through, turn-by-turn, on how to get here, he arrived 5 minutes later.  (It's a good thing Trinidad is such a small town.)

He walked through the apartment and then asked, "OK, where do I sign?"  I explained that I would need an application first, and we worked out the security deposit and rent.

He sat at Les's desk to fill out the application since he wanted to move in that day.  When he was done, I entered his info into a landlord's website where I can pull his credit history and for $6 more, I can also pull any criminal history.

I waited and waited for the report, then discovered that they had sent an email to him for confirmation that it was OK to give me his reports.  So he gave the OK, again on Les's computer.  He gave me the deposit and the rent and I handed him the keys.  I told him that I would get the lease together shortly.  He went next door to check out his new home.

A couple of minutes later, I finally got his report.  Lots of credit.  One collection, no big deal.  But then I got to pages 3, 4 and 5... the criminal background part.  OH MY GOD!!!!

Rape, rape, failure to resister as a sex offender, more rape, rape of a child, in states all across the country.  I started shaking.

I called Les who was at the shop.  I told him that I needed him home NOW.  Do not chat with neighbors, do not stop to take the trash out... HOME NOW!!!  Then I asked Andy to come with me because I needed to address this monster in the guise of a mind-mannered man shorter than me.

I showed him the credit portion, pointed out the collection from Chase.  Then I got to page 3, 4 and 5.  I was speechless as he went back to page 1 to explain the collection from Chase!  What?????!!!!!

"At this point, I couldn't care less about that!  What about this??!!" I exclaimed.  He said, "Well, that's not me.  I've never been to Virginia.  Never been to Washington State."  

If it were me being accused of such things, you'd have to pry me off the ceiling with a shovel.  

I told him that there was no way I would rent my place to someone like that, and if it truly wasn't him, that I'd need him to march right down to the Sheriff's department and I wouldn't give him the OK until I got clearance from the Sheriff.  And, "Oh, by the way... I need my keys back."

He said fine.

He left, and I had a hunch that I'd never see him again, so I took his deposit check down to my bank to see if they could verify funds and make sure that the account wasn't closed, or stolen, or something stupid like that.  The check was good.

Then I got a call from the sheriff saying it was the wrong person and that my guy didn't have any record.  I decided to drive down to the station, though, because I wanted to see a badge and a uniform before I'd believe it.  It was true... common name.

So we now have a mild-mannered, shorter than me, man living in our duplex next door.  So far... no trouble at all.